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Title:   And what happens next
Pairing:  UsUk
Genre: Explicit not-quite Phonesex
Rating: NC-17
Summary:  Alfred's response to Arthur's explicit voice-mails. Seuel to "Don't Answer your Voicemails..."

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"You have reached the phone of Arthur Kirkland, The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.  Please leave your message at the tone and I shall return it as soon as I am able.  Good day.”

"You. What do you think you're doing leaving a message for that?  When you know I answer my messages when I'm bored?  Do you have any idea of how fucking embarrassing it is to have you talking like a London dock whore in the Oval Office?  But you know what, Arthur fucking Kirkland?  I think maybe you deserve a bit of your own medicine."

Sound of someone slamming a door.

"So you want to fuck me.  I think I'd rather fuck you instead.  I know exactly what I'm going to do to you when I finally get there.  Maybe what I'm telling you is what I'm going to do - and maybe it's not.  You just won't know, will you?  And that sort of anticipation is going to kill you."

More sounds of someone stomping across a surface.


"Francis likes to tell me about what you do when you're drunk.  No gag reflex.  I think I might tie your hands behind your back with your tie.  Don't think I don't know my share of knots, ‘cause I do.  All sorts of knots that I can use to keep you all tied up and unable to even blink without my permission.  They may not be as fancy as Kiku's - don't think I don't know about that affair - but they work just as well."

Muffled sounds of someone speaking.

"Once I have you tied up?  I'll shove myself in your throat.  Grab your ears and just shove myself balls deep in you and stay like that as your throat spasms and keeps flexing and convulsing around my cock.  And I'll stay there as your eyes tear up and you get desperate for air.  You'll start fighting the knots and I won't move until you almost pass out.  And when you think you'll be able to get as much of that sweet, sweet air as you want, I'll shove back in."

Beeeeep

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"You know, you're right - that cut off is pretty fucking annoying.  Anyways.  Maybe what I'll do instead is this instead; cuff you to that antique dresser.  Yeah, that one, the one even I have trouble moving.  And you know what?  I'll take a page out of Antonio's book.  I know you have a collection of dildos and vibes to match even Ludwig's so what I'll do is pick one and shove it in you.  Turn it on high and listen to you beg.  Or take that one Estonia gave you, yeah, I know about it, that one that vibrates and expands.  I'll just leave you there and watch you beg."

Sound of another door slamming shut.

"There's a third option, you know.  I think I like the thought of you being tied up, so maybe what I'll do is tie you to yourself, cut your clothes off with my old knife, the one I use when I'm at the ranch.  You'd pro’ly be begging for anything at that point, even being cut.  I'll put another vibe in you, one big enough to satisfy even you, and then gag you.  But not any gag, I'll have to pick one big enough to make your eyes water.  And when you think you can't take anymore, I'm going to ride you like you're a wild bronco.  You won't be able to move but have to just lay there and take it."

A creaking noise echoes.

"So, Arthur, what happens next is up to you.  I'm gonna take my payment out of you and you aren't gonna know how until happens.  Am I gonna have to chase you down, or are you gonna be there like a good boy?"

Loud knocking sounds thud at the door.

"Either way, Arthur Kirkland, time's up."
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